I was alone for Christmas

I think this time of year is cursed for me. It is supposed to be so festive and magical but the only thing that was festive and magical about 2016 Christmas  for me was the fact that I had an entire icing cake to myself. In my solitude, after my boyfriend broke up with me so timely and gentlemanly on Christmas eve (sarcasm), I stayed inside my basement room and stared at this special sugary, tooth-rotting cake. I didn't care to go to family functions for my anxiety and low spirits were so bad. But I tried to see some hope. I tried to be thankful for even my gloomy existence. Truly, if you are living, have a roof over your head, and have food in your fridge, you should try your best to be grateful even if you want to kill yourself. This year we saw so much tragedy happen all over the world. So much senseless hate crimes. I took a little moment to reflect on those poor families and pray for them. Though I do suffer from my mental illnesses, and at times it becomes unbearable for me, I noted that I should be thankful for having made it to the end of another year. But yes it still hurt my soul that I was alone for Christmas.


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