Friday, 30 December 2016

New Year's Resolution: Be thankful and live in the moment

In group therapy currently at the brampton civic hospital. If you think you are the only one suffering from mental illness think again. I guess I've always known this but I still felt a sense of self titled self pity but today I felt differently. I am always thinking about how much my life sucks and how much I wish I had this and that. Even with my book. I have always felt a sense of desperation that if it doesnt bring me fortune and admiration my life would no longer be wort...h living. Well from this day on I am telling that side of myself to shut up because I have a life that so many less fortunate could only dream of. Yes I am different, yes I am weird and its hard to fit in but I am still very much alive and I still have people who is willing to put up with the mess that I sometimes am. I am choking up as I try to put this deep realization into words... I guess what I am trying to say is that for this new year try to live in the moment more. Not the future not the past. Be thankful for people in your life even if the relationship have passed on, just be thankful that it even happened, that in some way your universe and theirs collided and that there were some good memories. Dont wait on riches or a relationship to make you feel complete. YOU are complete right in this very moment because you were made out of love and you are loved by God if by noone else.

I was alone for Christmas

I think this time of year is cursed for me. It is supposed to be so festive and magical but the only thing that was festive and magical about 2016 Christmas  for me was the fact that I had an entire icing cake to myself. In my solitude, after my boyfriend broke up with me so timely and gentlemanly on Christmas eve (sarcasm), I stayed inside my basement room and stared at this special sugary, tooth-rotting cake. I didn't care to go to family functions for my anxiety and low spirits were so bad. But I tried to see some hope. I tried to be thankful for even my gloomy existence. Truly, if you are living, have a roof over your head, and have food in your fridge, you should try your best to be grateful even if you want to kill yourself. This year we saw so much tragedy happen all over the world. So much senseless hate crimes. I took a little moment to reflect on those poor families and pray for them. Though I do suffer from my mental illnesses, and at times it becomes unbearable for me, I noted that I should be thankful for having made it to the end of another year. But yes it still hurt my soul that I was alone for Christmas.

Tuesday, 27 December 2016

Happy Holiday! (and trying to recover from my anxiety/writer's block)

Hope you are all doing well this holiday. I hope you didn't stay home alone for Christmas like me stuffing your face with an entire icing cake because you felt too alien and odd to be mixing with humans even if these humans are your family. The holiday is always such a special, fun, festive time... or is it? I guess the lights, the presents (if you get any) can be uplifting and lets not forget those yummy foods that make your best winter body stand out, but sometimes it can be a little bit exhausting and lonesome for the few of us with anxiety and depression. Nothing like some red wine and fruit cake can't cure right? Anyways happy holidays. I hope I can get back to writing soon and will be able to have the following books to the series out in a reasonable time. I have a long way to go before recovering completely from the mental illnesses that plagues me but I am hopeful and cheers to making next year at Christmas much better for those who can relate. Cheers!

Shelby xox

Monday, 14 November 2016

Long Emotional Week

Last Friday I was crying and shaking as I sat down to continue writing my memoir, my first non-fiction book: SEX, DRUGS, AND INSANITY (A memoir). I was just so distraught when I came to the part where I will share some childhood memories. It wasn't the prettiest childhood. Actually it was very hard for me. The emotional and physical abuse I got from some family members and peers has left me mentally scarred in many ways. I want to leave the past in the past and move forward to positive things but writing about it definitely brings me back to that dark lonely place. It is like reliving it all over again. Anyway, I had a huge break down and had to be rushed to the hospital where I stayed for a couple days under 24/7 surveillance.

I feel like I must consult with my counselor first or at least get into stable, routine therapy sessions before I continue the memoir. I'm afraid I have to abandon this manuscript right now. For the time being, I am reaching out to any support I can get and going to bury myself and the dark thoughts in great books...and reality shows!  

Thursday, 6 October 2016

Book Review: Writing Away Tragedies by Christy Aldridge



"Poetry is nothing more than pretty words telling ugly truths"

And so the journey begins into Writing Away Tragedies. Reading this book was like being on a roller coaster ride while catching glimpses of your own life. I felt like I was reading through a very personal memoir. Christy is witty, honest, and raw. I wasn't expecting to feel so connected to the poems and finding so much truth and meaning in them. And it was such a great surprise. The poems touches on a lot of subject matters like love, heartache, family, self-harm, writing, and bullying. Most of all it is darkly romantic and a letter to writers everywhere. It is about things every young girl have probably went through or heard their friends going through. It will make you look at life in a new way and quite honestly leave you breathless.

Saturday, 1 October 2016

Cool Mug and Purple Choker

I just love my purple heart choker by @kitsunekrush. Beautiful and good quality. Use code SHELBYLAMB to get a 10% discount on any product at www.KitsuneKrush.com
They have tons of cool stuff!

Sunday, 25 September 2016

Lady Gaga's New Music Video

I wasn't too sure about "Perfect Illusion" the first time I heard it, but it is one of those records that grows on you. The music video is flashy and unique, but this is one of the more down-to-earth songs that Gaga has produced. The video is also just that. You actually feel like she is a real person while listening to the song and seeing Gaga driving down the road in her car, mouthing the lyrics in the vid. Keeping in Gaga's usual style, it is also a very sexy video, showing lots of legs and ass! :o

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Winter is Coming: Writing Through the Winter Blues and Preparation

That time is near, when the days grow shorter and a chill comes in the air. You know it and I know it, summer  trips to the cabin, your hand stretched through the open window, and that feeling of beach sand in your sandals can't last forever.

Writing is already a solitary thing and that alone can make it sometimes depressing. But what will happen now when you aren't able to take your nice long sunny walks, a needed reprieve from the writing desk, and a gloomy blue sky is all you can see outside your window?

Simple, don't get too worried. It's all a matter of looking at things differently and preparing yourself ahead of time for this sweater-wearing time. First thing first, make sure you are always comfortable. Find your favorite, most snuggly blankets and comforters, or at least invest in them $$$.

Something else that delights me in the winter is sitting by a nice set of scented candles. Indeed it's hard missing the aromas of the natural flowers planted in your neighbors' gardens. But these can do the trick for a while. I get mines through Esty.

Another charm I invest in during the winter to help me fight the blues are inspirational mugs. You can also buy these babies on Esty, but first I am gonna warn you that there are so many and that they are soooo beautiful and fun that if you don't be careful you might end up broke like me.

And stack up on vitamin C and D. Since sun sometimes might not be an option, make sure you are taking your needed vitamin D.

When it comes to vitamin D, your body can't tell the difference between you spending the day at the beach or popping a yummy D-vitamin chewable in your mouth. And it's THAT simple, so why not do it?

And you should know why I mentioned vitamin C. This is flu season... Ugh, yeah... And one of the most depressing feelings is having the flu. So TRY to avoid those sugary immune killing things like soda and bon bons and make sure you are gorging on your oranges and vegetables.


Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Quote of the Day

"Work harder now, more time to rest later."

Book Review Time: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Reading the words written from J.K Rowling's pen is a truly magical experience. Her language coils and flares like a beautiful plant that wildly twist around every which way. Harry, in his second year at Hogwarts, must find out who is behind very mysterious and dark occurrences. And he must do so fast; the life of his friends are at stake! Desperate along with Harry to unbury the truth in all the madness that is taking place, you are taken on rides over England in a car that soon lands in a very angry, flailing tree, and into the Forbidden Forest where you meet spiders as big as houses. The questions at hand are 1) Where is the chamber of secrets? 2) Who is opening it? And 3) What monster lurks inside? Brave and determined to set things right again, Harry follows a sketchy trail of clues and past secrets to save his friends and put an end to the reign of terror.  4/5 stars.

Morning Routine

Good morning! Hope you are having a wonderful day so far. Mornings are definitely my favorite part of the day. I feel rejuvenated and in touch with God, especially when it is still silent and a little dark outside. I wake usually anywhere from 6 AM to 7:30 AM. I usually go to the washroom first thing and take a gulp from my water bottle that I always keep near my bed. Next I lay in bed for another 10-30 minutes, stretching and reflecting on what I am going to do that day.

When I get upstairs it is coffee time. I usually go through about 3 cups of these babies throughout my day but my first cup is when I get upstairs and pull the curtains. It takes about an hour after waking for me to start feeling hungry so I sit and enjoy my coffee and go on social media, typically instagramming about 3 photos during this time. When I am hungry I turn to pancakes, fruit, especially bananas, or a peanut butter and jam sandwich. I love cereal and I know it is a staple breakfast but since the milk releases relaxing serotonin in the body I usually stay away unless I haven't had it for a while. My favorite cereal is Post's Great Grains, and I have the nut medley. Typically I have it with almond milk or skim milk. Nowadays it is usually almond, since I am trying to transition into a vegan lifestyle. While I eat breakfast I brainstorm what I am going to blog about that day and as soon as I finish eating I brush my teeth and get to work. What does your morning routine look like?

Monday, 19 September 2016

2nd quote of the day!


Book Review Time: Kim: Empty Inside: The Diary of an Anonymous Teenager

Kim: Empty Inside: The Diary of an Anonymous Teenager really fits its name because it was, well, EMPTY INSIDE. Instead of ravishing details and an insight into ED like I had hoped, it came up short with FLAT FLAT FLAT characters (and this is how Kim speaks) and minimalist descriptions of an obviously made-up diary of a teenage girl battling an eating disorder. It was very slow.... I'm talking SNAIL PACE. In fact I was 80% through my e-book version of it (and I had to look) when it started mentioning the seriousness of her condition, hospital runs, etc. The most horrible fact: it was ALL TELL and no showing and only the help of coffee and by the grace of God was I capable of getting through this snooze-fest. This is my absolute LAST time reading a book written in journal entry style. Lesson learned. Thank you coffee!


2/5 stars.

Quote of the day!

And I love the sheer creepiness of this art too!

I Quit Smoking

I'm deciding after three years of my wild love affair with king-sized Belmonts that I've just had enough. It isn't doing anything for me or the people around me. Actually it caused my bad heartburn and aggressive coughing. But it was unbelievably hard to quit. I just love popping out one of these buddies when I'm stressed, bored, or hungry (yes I tried to use it to lose weight). Ultimately I knew it was one of the deadliest habits you can have. So instead I now replace it with nicotine gum, green tea, meditating, reading, and having nice long walks.

Sunday, 18 September 2016

Living With Depression

Writing is my life and it is soooo therapeutic for me, but some days are very gloomy. I was diagnosed with bipolar-depression and anxiety in 2010. I always felt something was wrong while in high school, and I can remember reading Elizabeth Wurtzel's book Prozac Nation, and how it changed my life. I was like THIS IS ME. I feel this way! Granted, the depressive side of my disorder wasn't that horrible in high school, as I think the routine and distractions really worked for me. But I was always painfully anxious. I wasn't even shy. Just anxious and paranoid about what people thought of me and about everything I could think of. After high school, however, when I had just turned 18, things took a turn for the worse. My moods brought me on a roller coaster ride from hell, there were constant fights with my parents, and I just couldn't keep friends anymore. I even ran away from them. Literally, I would turn and run the other way if I saw them when I was out in public. And I just remember blowing up on everybody I came in contact with and being very, very alone, stuck in my room days on end.

I shut down and only found comfort being alone, though it made my depression stronger. It was a monster that kept growing bigger and bigger and more frightening.

It wanted my life.

When my parent's and sister's friends would come over, I was always just that weird girl in her room, the one that only came out to get water.

My appearance changed. I was no longer the fun-loving, bright-colors-wearing Shelby that my friends knew me for. My hair kept permanently tangled, and I no longer cared about fashion, or having a bath for that matter. I must have looked like a street person. Fast forward to 2014, and I had my first hospitalization. Little did I know that it would be just the first of many, that hospitals would become my second home, and that in 2015 I would be rushed there and admitted for downing 60-plus Xanax pills plus a giant bottle of red wine.

Depression isn't easy, no mental illness is for that matter, and I am glad to be alive today. Writing Something (Wisteria 1) was a way for me to escape and find understanding in the things that affected me. It was one of the reasons I kept hanging on. Some days are still really, really hard. I lie in bed and struggle to move and get done what I know I need to get done. And sometimes I still think about the easiest way to escape this life, because I'm scared of feeling sad and alone forever. But I know that isn't the answer, and that I just have to hang on, keep praying, and try my best to appreciate the small things and the people that still love and support me after all I put them through.

Friday, 16 September 2016

Editorial Review of Something (Wisteria 1)

I was so happy to see all of feedback that my proofreaders and two awesome editors had for me. Here is one review, by my amazing proofreader and friend, Kathlean, that I am in love with and that really explains what the book is about and some of the inspiration behind it: (#horrorfanforlife)


Something (Wisteria 1) is a New Adult fiction novel in the horror, fantasy, and mystery genres. It takes dark humor, good writing, and frightening and controversial subject matter to give a unique twist on its chosen categories. The nail-biting idea of a curse being spread by reading a book will make readers feel a part of the story, and more connected to the diverse and interesting characters, including a young woman diving head-first into the adult industry and a wholesome mamma's boy named Nathan Silva. I found it to be a very exciting concept that is reminiscent of the 2012 popular American horror film, The Ring. Aubrey Golding, who is at the center of this story, is a self-harmer who fantasizes about suicide. She dabbles in drugs, alcohol, and risky sex. While she manages to inadvertently spread the curse around like an STD, she is hell-bent on winning back her love interest, Nathan, who is shagging her best friend behind her back. I just could not put down this book.

--Kathlean Thomas

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Comforting Bible Verses

"All things that were written beforehand were written for our instruction, so that through our endurance and through the comfort from the Scriptures we might have hope." --Romans 15:4

"Do not be anxious over anything, let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers." --Philippians 4:6, 7


Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Lady Gaga Is Back!

Promoting her new single "Perfect Illusion" and possibly the release of a brand new long-awaited album Lady Gaga turns head is super sexy cropped shorts for four days straight. She looks to be slimmer and toned up, and she is absolutely glowing! Check out the vid of Gaga proudly flaunting her stuff before the flashing cameras here.

Monday, 12 September 2016

Decluttering and Reorganizing That Crazy Room



Things happen out of plan all the time. That is how life is but I am guilty of adding more disorganization to my life than necessary. Are you as well? I can’t keep my room clean or my notes in check no matter how hard I try. Is there a way to fix this? I need to make a change because it has gotten to the point where I misplace virtually everything. Then there is the notebook problem. I have like hundreds of notebooks, and they were each bought to serve a purpose but now I don’t know which has what info and I keep mixing them up!  Desperate I searched the web for some tips that are easy enough to implement and get going right away! 1) spend 30 minutes each week decluttering and reorganising your room. 2) Use a recycling bin or bag to throw away things that you will no longer need 3) Label each notebook 4) You can use sticky notes as a way to write quick reminders for various things, place them on your wall, and then later add them to the proper notebook! 5) You can donate items you no longer need if you don’t want to just throw them out!

And that’s it!

Love this adorable art!

Omg I wonder whoooo is the artist!

Friday, 9 September 2016

Trisha Paytas's New Song

I just got through with watching the music video for Trisha Paytas's new song titled "Showtime." Her voice isn't the best and while it is smothered in auto-tune the song's melody and lyrics, and overall message does pull at one's heart string. If you have a soul! People seemed so wrapped up lately in loving to hate on this blond bombshell but seeing this music video and hearing the song, all I can see is a girl who is genuinely in love, in fear of losing that love, and just wants to make a life for herself. Isn't that what everyone wants? Hers, unfortunately, is just on YouTube. I would hashtag this song #thedownsideoffame. It is so true isn't it? And it is not like Trisha is on any A list, but look where her semi fame found her. I at least hope that she is happy with the remaining and new fans she makes, like myself, who gets her, and with the success she has found even on a risky platform.

Thursday, 8 September 2016

Quote of the day and Goodnight!

“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.” - Dan Pearce

xox

Everyone goes through hard times at some point. Life isn't easy. Just something to think about. Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the three hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and help me? Sometimes just because a person... looks happy, you have to look past their smile to see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends who are going through some issues right now--let's start an intention avalanche. We all need positive energy right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy and paste this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all of those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just needs to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!!! I did it for a friend and you can to. You have to copy and paste this one, NO SHARING.

Writing is A Binge and Purge Operation (Being Literary-Bulimic Makes You A Good writer)

A bit high right now *.* and this little bit of understanding just popped in my head making me go WOW I haaaaave to blog on this even if it is like gonna take me really long because I am BLASTED.

Of course one of the most repeated writing tips they give you is to read, read, read, and then read some more. Well this is totally true. However--and this is very bad--I find that a lot of people who aspire to be writers don't actually read. Some of these people are my friends (SORRY GUYS) but I am guessing that they can be found in the greater population too. Sometimes I even find myself slacking in the reading department. I blame this on my depression and *coughs* simple laziness. Yes :( I said it! I am lazy! (TRULY working on it currently via everything from hypnotherapy apps to the FOR DUMMIES books.)

Anyway, this is just BAD bad stuff. If you want to be a good writer then you must be a "good" reader. You don't have to be crazy and read, like, 1 book every hour like Miss-Hip-Vegan-Book Blogger over there but, like I "TRY" to do, is give myself no longer than two weeks max to read a book, always starting a new one right after.

When you read something magical takes place in your brain without you even realizing. You are using those literary muscles and maybe you will remember a new word here and there. I always get my best writing session in after a good bout of reading (give me an hour or three). I binge on words and then purge them out after but in my own voice, my own way. Writing is a form of art where you take your stored and inner creativity and make beauty and inspiration, feelings and emotions, using words. For other people it's using paint, but we Writers take pen to paper or our fingertips to the keyboard.

Think about a world with no art, like music, dancing, acting, photography, or WRITING. How would we ever get inspired! Well, sure there is nature which is art in itself (God's art) but it would be a pretty blank world wouldn't it?

Since that isn't the case, take advantage of the art around you (writers read: novels!) Fill up your senses with all the beauty you can get your hands on and your creativity will blossom! I can always defeat a battle of the writer's block by burying myself in some awesome books.

Try it maybe it can help you the same. Happy writing!


-Shelby Lamb
 @creepy.shelby



Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Queen Lana Del Rey

Even Grammy awards-winning singer Adele adores her! Her voice is like a sultry, dark, seductive dream and her lyrics are captivating. Of course you know Lana Del Rey, my faaaaav singer, and if you haven't yet heard of her check her out here. I listen to her Honeymoon album practically everyday and have her posters on my bedroom wall. When I think of her I see roses, cigarettes, and California. She will be playing live Saturday October 1st, 2016 with Kings of Leon, CHVRCHES, and three others, in Mexico.



  •          
  • Monday, 5 September 2016

    Settling Down With Some Afternoon Tea

     It is that time of day. You just feel like a nice cup of tea and a good book. Last night I literally couldn't stop eating. So I decided I was going to make up on it by binging today only on the good stuff. Water and tea (and perhaps I'll sneak in some chicken nuggets.) No seriously I really need to lose weight. Thinking about working out afterward with YouTube videos.

    Anyway, the tea I am drinking today is Tazo's Awake English Breakfast. It is sooooo tasty and soothing. And I am gonna catch up on Beatrice Spark's Kim: Empty Inside: The Diary of an Anonymous Teenager. It's going good so far :)

    Saturday, 3 September 2016

    The Vile Creature That is Bethenny Frankel

    Once again Bethenny Frankel shows her true colors, lashing out at Luann De Lesseps in the most hurtful ways one can think of. This woman use to be one of my favorite Real Housewives but sad to say that this is no more the case. It absolutely disgusts me, the things that flies out of this woman's mouth and all the unnecessary, completely unwarranted attacks she slams Luann with. If you guys are watching you already know she had called Luann everything in the book from a slut, to a whore, just to name a few of her verbal assaults. The list is so great and it is so late I can't even bother to bring them all up. Just looking at this woman gives me an anxiety attack. You can tell she isn't enjoying life, other than the occasions she gets to tear people down. This monster lost it again completely when De Lesseps called her out on sleeping with a married man (just to defend herself after Bethenny's countless low-blow attacks). And what did the horrible woman say? Well she shrieked at the top of her lungs (and eyed Lu as if she wanted to kill her) "YOU WERE BORN A LIAR AND YOU WILL DIE A LIAR!" LOL I guess this delusional psycho thinks she's God now too just after making her bad-tasting, gag-worthy drinks. Seriously, this is like some catty school girl shit. This woman is a vile, disgusting bully that needs to be stopped. I have to applaud Lu though. What does De Lesseps do while this monster keeps churning out hate? Oh she just stays cool like a countess.

    P.S I think part of Luann's strategy here is to actually make the monster come out. If you really watch carefully you will notice she's purposely responding coolly and simply playing Frankel like a fiddle. Yeah girl, you just keep sitting there and pressing those buttons and letting psycho Bethenny act like the fool she is. Good for you!

    Sunday, 28 August 2016

    Quote of the Day

    When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
     Lemony Snicket

    Tuesday, 23 August 2016

    Monday evening I sat down with a cup of black coffee to rediscover a book that I read back in 2009 when I was 18-years-old. Opening The Thirteenth Tale was like meeting an old friend again, after many years had past, only to realize you both are now two different creatures but with the same expectations. I remember loving the book a lot, being trapped in it, being lost without it. It is beginning to have almost the same effect, but it is not the same. I was a new avid reader when I first got my hands on Diane Setterfield's book, so I was very ignorant about what else was out there. But maybe it is my fault. Maybe I have turned my back on this kind of rich, flamboyant, chatty writing style for too long. While I read the book for a second time, I am finding it is very claustrophobic, it leaves little room to breathe. I wouldn't say the magic is lost, but it is quite a devil getting use to it again. 

    Monday, 22 August 2016

    3/5 stars. I tried my very best to like Amanda Hocking's Wake. The whole siren thing to me is a bit new so I was intrigued for a hot minute but then the book lost its spark. I don't really know what to say... but where was the detail to pull you in? Where was the passion? The writing was mediocre at best and the story was predictable. Things felt rushed and scenes were plain. It felt more like an outline for a book than an actual novel. Was this one of the novels Hocking wrote in a week? If so then it has earned its three stars because then that might explain why it was written so poorly. Sorry Amanda.

    Sunday, 14 August 2016

    Book Review: "Thing of Beauty" by Stephen Fried

    5 out of 5 stars!
    This book brought me to laughter, tears, excitement, then back to tears again. I wasn't expecting to feel such a connection with Gia. Yes some of the errors/typos in there got a little distracting, but overall it was a good book with lots of insight into the modelling industry and the family, romance, and friendships behind this beautiful, heartbreaking enigma that is Gia. At times I couldn't wait until this demanding novel ended, but was sad when I did get to the final page. Ultimately this is a sad story, and an eye-opener about what can happen when you play with fire (read: drugs). But if you are up for a wild, adventurous story, with everything from sex, rock n' roll, to AIDS, fame, and family drama, then this is the book for you.

    Thursday, 3 March 2016

    Today's Bible Verse

    My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. When people are tempted and still continue strong, they should be happy. After they have proved their faith, God will reward them with life forever. God promised this to all those who love him. --James 1:2-3, 12

    Friday, 26 February 2016

    Go Ask Alice (Book Review Time!)

    So I finally decided to read this famous I-screwed-up-my-life book. I was very excited getting my hands on it. After all it has millions of fans worldwide so it must be something! But after reading the first page I knew I was in for a surprise. This was not at all what I expected. It was very snippy, vague and left me yawning A LOT. I ended up just smoking a lot of weed (as you can see by the picture) trying to get through the snoozefest. Alice is ridiculous. How do you go from getting a slip of acid into a full blown junkie just in the blink of an eye? And what's with the annoying repeated words that SO does not read like a teen girl's thoughts by the way. I gave it a two on Goodreads because much like the ending, the whole thing can be summed up by two words: abrupt and disappointing. 2 outta 5 stars.

    Wednesday, 24 February 2016

    "You are not that pretty"

    If you are anywhere near Twitter you would have probably realized by now that one of the most popular hashtags currently running is #FreeKesha. Even celebrities like Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Lady Gaga, and Demi Lovato are all offering their support for the damsel in distress. So what exactly is going on? Who is telling the truth? Kesha or this Dr. Luke character? There is so much to this puzzling, scandalous story. There is the fact that Kesha swore under oath that Dr. Luke did not rape or "roofied" her. This came after the shocking allegations that he had. But why the change in her story?

    "He threatened her and she equivocated because she was under threat. This is a desperate attempt on their part to blame the victim," Kesha's lawyer Mark Geragos told The News.

    The sadness resurfaced on Friday when the court denied Kesha release from her contract under the Sony umbrella, whom her alleged abuser produces for. Dr. Luke claims that Kesha's statements against him was all part of a smear compaign aimed at extortion and to control matters concerning her music contract. People are shouting "victim blaming."

    Well its fair to say, that no matter the outcome of their ongoing legal battle, Dr. Luke really does not look good from any angle. Just take into consideration all the nasty things that he allegedly told the young singer under his guidance: "You are not that pretty. You are not that talented. You are just lucky to have me." Oh and wait for it:  he also reportedly called the singer "a fat fucking refrigerator." Ugh. What a yucky dude.  

    Will we ever know the truth to the story? Who do you believe?

    I am definitely #TeamKesha


    Sunday, 21 February 2016

    Little Fingers

    There once was a girl. She had no friends. So she sat in her room all sat and told the cat she would create them. Well days went by and no one heard from her. No one checked what she was doing in that room until long after when a foul smell started to come from it. They went inside and observed each of her little fingers wound with a knot of hair. "Well who did the right hand?" asked the detective.


    Saturday, 20 February 2016

    Fantastic Creepy Art

    I love looking at creepy illustrations whenever I write. Today I am going to talk about one artist that really influence my work as an author.

    Danish artist John Kenn Mortensen is absolutely one of my favourite artists, who serves me endless inspiration. He draws these spooky, super creative and intricate pieces that will leave you covered in goose pimples and gaping in awe, and all on yellow sticky notes. Isn't that so crafty? Check these babies out. If you want to see more of his work just go to his blog. 




    Friday, 19 February 2016

    Today's Bible Verse

    Know in your heart that the Lord your God corrects you as a parent corrects a child. Obey the commands of the Lord your God, living as he has commanded you and respecting him. Be careful not to forget the Lord your God so that you fail to obey his commands, laws, and rules that I am giving to you today. If you ever forget the Lord your God and follow other gods and worship them and bow down to them, I warn you today that you will be destroyed.

    Deuteronomy 8:5-6, 11, 19

    What To Do When You Have The Munchies!

    So you know that feeling. You just smoked up, just got baked in the most lovely way... You are drifting off on a cloud and feeling so chill the bills and irritating co-workers just don't concern you any more. But suddenly there is a loud growl and it's not coming from a bear outside, but from YOUR STOMACH!!! And then a feeling hits you, you wanna run to McDonald's, you wanna grab the cell phone and order that large hot box of pizza to wolf down by yourself. You've got "The Munchies." Food never tasted so good. While it could be fun to pig out sometimes, you don't want to make this a habit, or pig out on the wrong foods. Hello unhealthy! And if you're like me you will be just piling on unwanted pounds. And if you are even more like me (who is broke broke broke) you would rather not pig out at all because food can be, well, EXPENSIVE. $$$ With that in mine, here are some tips and tricks, I stick to, and you can use for kicking those munchies to the curb. Hugs and kisses muah xox


    • If you are a wake and baker, go ahead and get that black coffee started and sip sip sip! Coffee is a good appetite suppressant.
    • The brushing your teeth trick--this one can be done any time of day and who doesn't want the bonus of whiter teeth? I usually brush my teeth as soon as I smoke.
    • Have a large supply of fruits and veggies that are washed, chopped and ready to eat! With this tip you can turn your munchies into a really good thing. Here you will be filling yourself up on healthy stuff. And most likely they will be tasting extra yummy to you!
    • Get a large glass of water and take huge gulps
    • Get busy; do things that will keep you occupied. I like to read, check social media, write, and paint my nails, and even clean when I get the urge to pig out. I will still feel chill and relaxed from my herb and focusing on these things takes my attention away from feeling hungry.
    • Nibble on a really large fruit or veggie. A banana, a large apple or pear, or a whole carrot usually does the trick for me.
    • Suck on ice. But remember not to choke on them like I do.
    • Meditate. This one is really fun. While finding your center and just breathing and keeping still, I find that you can almost hypnotise yourself to feel completely full and well and ward off those cravings.     

    Thursday, 18 February 2016

    "OH MY GOD I HAVE NO FRIENDS!!!"

    "Oh my God, I have no friends." Is that you? Well no worries my friend. You're in good company. A lot of successful people were loners. Michael Jackson, Beatrix Potter,  J.D Salinger, Issaac Newton, Joe DiMaggio, Emily Dickinson, and even Marilyn Monroe, were all loners and social outcasts in one way or the other. But it sucks doesn't it? Yeah yeah. It get's... well... lonely. But have no fear my friend. You can be your own best friend! And there are a lots of things you can do when you have no friends.

    Focus more on you're passions and goals
    Have more me time
    Save more money!
    Read
    Relax on the couch and sip tea in peace
    Choose what move YOU wanna watch
    write a masterpiece
    Read, did I say read?
    Smoke some weed without sharing your stash
    pick your nose in liberation
    fart without blushing
    Make cool online friends
    Find a really quirky, unique craft
    Enjoy Nature
    Cuddle stuff animals
    Read the bible
    Pray
    Draw and colour
    Talk to your mama or your papa or your grandma or your grandpa
    Learn to love yourself

    REALLY BAD Trip And... Good Trip? All In One?

    You can def have a bad trip smoking weed. Even a little bit of weed. I swear by kush but smoking too much marijuana or the strain that is not right for you can have its negative side effects. And they can be DRAMATIC. So I wanted to tell you about my bad trip. Well I ordered some chocolate kush from an online medical marijuana provider (got my green card and everything) and was really excited to try it out; so excited I decided to get my entire family involved (not knowing the worst day dream/nightmare will soon come knocking). I was laughing and force-feeding the marijuana-laced chocolate to my mom and dad.

    It seemed super exciting at first: me, I was gonna get friggin high with my parents yo how dope is that? But then in attempt to persuade them to take more, I just kept eating and eating the chocolate not realizing that I was on the verge on FREAKING OUT in trippy dippy psychedelic land. And ohhhhh it was not good. Ever heard of the saying: "It is like hell on earth." Yeah that's exactly how it was. Well let me tell you how it all began. So I was still laughing, feeling the rush, high, excitable side of the weed and telling my parents to have more cause I wanted to see how they would look high. Around that time I started noticing bits and pieces - strips to be exact - of my vision peeling away. I was like WTF o.O this is when I stopped laughing and I was like "Dad... Dad.. I think something is happening or about to happen..." And I held on to the counter. Knowing what I know now about how CRUCIAL it is NOT to freak the freak out I would have done it differently but since I was a newbie to weed I was just like soooo paranoid I thought that I was gonna go crazy so I started... well... I made matters worse..

    So my parents seeing me freak out started freaking out. My dad went to call the ambulance because all of a sudden I couldn't speak properly and I couldn't see them. I LEGIT. Could. Not. See. My parents who were like two inches away from me. My mom walked me over to the couch and had me lie down. At this point I could not even feel her hand touching me.

    And here is where it gets scary!

    Darkness. Imagine seeing just complete darkness. Imagine not being able to hear your parents clearly or feel them, and they are right beside you. Imagine only being able to see a purple cross in the form of a dim light far out in the distance in the dark void before you. Naturally... I thought I was dying. I voiced my concern to my parents and they were like Shelby no you are not dying and then I started getting really angry and saying BUT I AM I AM DYING FK FK F$%%! Then the next thing that came to my mind was going to hell. Now I started to really panic. Not only was I dying like this over some simple weed but I was going to be burning in flames for all eternity. I started to feel the heat and like almost the flames, the fire behind me. I started to feel like I was burning. Then I started seeing all these beams of lights flashing throughout the dark void that was my existence (all the while hearing the frantic shrill voice of my mother who was cradling me like a baby at this point). I prayed to God. I couldn't stop crying, praying to God, begging for forgiveness, pleading with him not to throw me to the flames, begging my parents to forgive me too, for all the naughty things I have done on this earth not listening to them etc.

    It was like torture.... I felt like whatever I thought, no matter how small, God would be judging me, and that I was at risk of going to hell at any moment. It was like judgement day for me. Then I had this feeling, this sense, like God was telling me to just let go. To relax. Just go with whatever is happening to me. That he has forgiven me, that I have another chance or whatever and I could just breathe. And I started to breathe deeply and let go. I started to calm down. And as soon as that happened my vision started to come back like fitting puzzle pieces together. I saw the archway leading into the lobby. I saw the paramedics. Finally I felt safe... And now.... the good stuff started to begin. HAHA it was so friggin awesome. Anyway I got the impression that I was a child of God and that NO I was not going to hell that I was going to HEAVEN! And I started seeing this bright white light now (again I reverted back into the trip, only this time it was blissful because I was calm). I was hearing angel voices and it was like they were calling me, cheering me on, telling me that I had a place with them one day. I saw myself glowing. I saw a more beautiful version of myself with wings and bright floral tattoos....

    I was bald for some reason LOL. I was naked and yes I was in heaven and I was just a giggly child again and God and his angels accepted me for me. It was so beautiful. My dad said at this point I was giggling wildly and flapping my palms like I was doggy paddling. No one knew what was going on in my head. My eyes were open. But I remember they felt shut. But I did have glimpses of the paramedics and I thought they were angels and I though wow the world is beautiful. It was definitely life changing. But yeah be careful with that sht. Haha lol.

    Wednesday, 17 February 2016

    Aspiring Author

    The quote of today: "Do everything with patience and care" by Shelby Lamb --me! Haha. Anyway writing is my passion and I don't care if I never do anything else in life because I've been too busy writing. I hardly fit in socially ANYWHERE. I've never had a serious relationship. I am just an outcast BUT... I don't care writing/my books are the loves of my life. Writing.. It is just that important to me. Being the loner that I am I just find it so relaxing and healing to vent my deepest, darkest emotions through stories. Now here is the thing. I have a book that I have been working on for over five years. Blood sweat and tears. I am finished with it now. And am going through the process of finding agents to publish the traditional way. My eyes are currently BURNING from going through all their submission guidelines and blah blah blah/ sending out stuff. *Sighs and sips bedtime tea* Well I have some hope if this route does not work out. I have been talking to another author who is very successful and she is telling me I can self publish it. She believes in my work and that is so encouraging to me. Getting sleepy.... Anybody out there that is a struggling author too?

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